Sometimes, I Just Don’t Understand

May 11, 2016 by Mackenzie

So… holy shit, I have nine days left here. How did we get to nine days?! Where did April and half of May go?

This week has been a little bizarre because I am finally teaching again after some seven weeks of holidays and testing. Yes, SEVEN WEEKS. From March 21-May 6 we had endless holidays, testing, and events. The 12th grade takes a big National Exam in April so at the end of March (and two other weeks in March too but at least we still had class) they took a week-long practice exam, and the 10th and 11th graders got the week off. WHY?! WHY can they not have class?! I don’t understand… What’s even more irritating is that they don’t tell you until the Saturday before… so you give assignments and plan things thinking you will have class and then they cancel the whole week. While annoying, I got a free week and spontaneously headed off to Bali for the week. Photos to come, I promise 🙂

So then we went back to school for four days and then got another 12 days off because it was time for the REAL National Exam (UN) but then they also have a remedial National Exam… and again, the 10th and 11th graders didn’t have school. (WHY?! WHY can they not have class?! I don’t understand!). For this, I went to Tanjung Puting National Park for a three day river houseboating adventure with a bunch of other ETAs. Then, I came home for a few days before heading off to Jakarta for the National WORDS competition with Telsy, and a few extra days of planning for next year with the other Returning ETAs or SETAs (Senior ETA). See these posts for all about the local WORDS Competition and the National Competition!

I was thrilled to be home and ready to finish the end of the grant strong. I taught Monday and Tuesday (now we’re at April 18-19) and then on Wednesday they announced Final Exams for the seniors, which meant the 10th and 11th graders had no class on Wednesday through… well, I didn’t even know. Again, WHY?! WHY can they not have class?! We ended up having no class from Wednesday through the following Thursday while the 12th graders took their exams. At this point, I was out of vacation days and unable to travel anyways because we were within 30 days of leaving (AMINEF wants us to spend our last 30 days at site) so I had a week to kill in a very quiet, boring city. Carlie had the time off as well so we ended up hanging out almost every night – usually going to see a movie. We saw four movies that week and from that week to now we have seen every movie (both Western and Indonesian) that the theater has played… Let’s just say it’s a lot of movies. But it kills the time and it’s been entertaining and it’s a particularly good way to practice my Bahasa Indonesian 😀

At an event with my student Keke, who is the 2016 Tourist Ambassador of Central Kalimatan (think like Miss Washington)

At an event with my student Keke (grey gown), who is the 2016 Tourist Ambassador of Central Kalimatan (think like Miss Washington)

At the waterpark with Telsy and her family on one of our free days!

So then… (and I apologize because I didn’t intend to rant about all this but I’ve started the story so now I may as well finish it) we finally went back to school on Friday the 29th. I taught my one Friday class and then prepared for the following week of classes, thinking things were finally back to normal. But oh no… the education gods seem to want to do everything in their power this year to keep me out of the classroom. Monday, May 2nd was “Hari Pendidikan” (Education Day) and while we were supposed to have a day of competition and games, the headmaster never showed up so we didn’t do anything and the teachers got to sit in the teacher’s lounge and gossip for the entire day. I couldn’t quite believe it – this is how you spend Education Day? By taking the day off and gossiping? Sheesh. Luckily, I wasn’t alone – my fellow ETAs and I had an entertaining facebook thread of all the random and useless things our schools was doing, or not doing, for Education Day. This country… sometimes I just don’t get it.

Oh yeah, and this happened too…

A handful of my students took a big test on May 1st for a scholarship that would send them to America for their senior year of high school – I’m so proud of their efforts and we are anxiously awaiting the results of this first round!

Okay so then on Monday (Education Day), I was told that Tuesday was the farewell party for the seniors and that we would have no class again (insert angry faced emoji) – it’s a lovely gesture and I love the idea but WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN AT 8AM? Why can’t this happen at 2pm AFTER school??!!

Farewell party

We also ended up getting a surprise visit from a member of the Indonesian Parliament that day – they came to investigate some claims that the food the dining hall serves to the kids is spoiled. Ha! I laughed pretty hard at that. I wouldn’t say its spoiled but it’s certainly not good and certainly lacks any kind of nutritional value. So we had a little pomp and circumstance for him and his crew of 25 other government officials and then we had the farewell party. Super sweet and fun.

The guy on the left with the quilt-looking batik is the Parliament Representative

My senior girls <3

I finally taught one class on Wednesday and then Thursday and Friday was a national holiday so no class again. We (Carlie and I and our schools) hosted an English Teaching Workshop for local high school teachers with one of the U.S. Embassy’s English Language Fellows (ELF). (Similar to the ETA program but they all have a master’s degree in TEFL/TESOL/teaching etc. and are placed in universities.)

Our teacher workshop

Finally, this week we went back to school for real!! Except, it’s only for two weeks… the 10th and 11th graders have their final exams on May 23rd and it’s also the end of my grant as I leave on the 21st. So this is the answer to, where did the last two months go??? Well… it went to sitting in my house, seeing a lot of movies, not seeing a lot of my kids, and to planning my travels with Spencer come post-grant.

The view on my evening walks, which have become a daily routine with all this spare time

I taught a grand total of 8 days in those 7 weeks… (Please keep in mind the rough start I had to the grant and the fact that I think I taught like three days here in my first three months – see this and this and this and this).

And as you can see, my cultural adaptation stretches a little thin at times. I’ve gotten used to (and have begun to love) so much else here – the calls to prayer, the staring at the “white girl” (don’t love), the rice, the heat (don’t love), the cockroaches (don’t love), dressing conservatively, the language, the cultural events… I’m an entirely different person from the girl who stuffed a pillow under her door on the first night to keep the cockroaches out. But, the educational system is something that I just don’t understand. Why can’t we have school during exams? Why do we have seven weeks of vacation in the middle of the semester?? For one week, sure – that’s fine. But five weeks of no school because the 12th grade is testing? That’s crazy! I can understand that they want to spread the kids out into many classrooms so they can’t cheat – but come on, there’s ways to work around that without canceling five weeks of school for 2/3 of the students. And Hari Pendidikan? Really?

It’s hard to take teaching and learning seriously when you don’t have class. It’s hard (if not impossible) to learn when you don’t have class. It’s hard to teach when you don’t know when you’re next class will be. There are some classes I hadn’t seen for seven weeks until this week! How are they supposed to learn and how am I supposed to teach part 2 of the lesson we did seven weeks ago?!

My personal adaptation to slow life has changed dramatically. A few months ago, when faced with the prospect of a week’s vacation for semester exams, or even a long weekend because of a holiday, I would come close to a panic attack. What would I do?! How would I survive? (Quite literally… this was before I had a motorcycle to go out and get my own food) How in the world could I possibly fill a whole day with nothing planned?

Well, that’s changed. Dramatically. Somehow that whole week of Final Exams at the end of April passed and I actually dreaded having to return to school and no longer have my days to myself again. I embrace the quiet. I love a day with no plans. I can sleep in. I can take naps after I sleep in. I can go for a long walk. I can read for hours. I can nongkrong (hangout) with Carlie every single day if I want to. I can run all of my errands. And I can still go to bed by 9pm.

Yet somehow, in all those weeks of libur (holidays/vacation) I never found the time (or inclination is probably a better word – I had plenty of time!) to write a blog post. I had plenty to write about. And sometimes I would draft something but never got around to posting it. A lot of it has to do with internet. I’d rather upload pictures when I’m at a cafe and am using wifi – and not my precious data from my modem. And if I go to a cafe, I end up doing other things – like messaging Spencer and figuring out post-grant travel plans, pursuing facebook. etc… But tonight, just as I finished my shower after a lovely evening walk, the power went out. Mati lampu. I hate mati lampu. It’s dark, hot, and boring. Back in February and March we had regularly scheduled mati lampus two or three times a week for weeks. From 5:30pm-9:30 or 10. It was THE WORST. It absolutely killed any plans I may have had with my students or even to be productive and do something at home. Tonight, for the first time in weeks, we got another mati lampu. And at 5:30 too, so I know it will last until at least 9 or 10. On my walk I had decided that tonight I would finally start packing. I’ve got a small suitcase for my post-grant travels. A big one that I’ll leave in jakarta and pick up when we come back to Jakarta before flying home, and another one that I’ll fill with everything that can stay here – most of my batik (traditionally patterned clothes), my yoga mat, my motorcycle helmet, my teaching books, etc. I was finally going to start the process but then… mati lampu.

So instead I had dinner with my kids in the dining hall (for the first time in weeks) and then walked home to my dark, empty house. I studied Bahasa for a bit and then got that twitchy feeling in my fingers and my brain… I wanted to blog. I can’t do anything else so I believe it’s finally time to blog.

So here you go, my friends! I’m sorry for the extremely long and ranting post. This was not at all what I intended to write when I began writing but… it’s what came out.

My computer is about to die so I’ll get this up quick – then I’ll settle into my bed with my kindle and Game of Thrones and wait until the power comes back on… Goodnight friends!

(If you’ve made it to the end of this – congratulations. Thanks for sticking with me as I rambled. If you’re shocked (like I was) at the educational system here in Indonesia, then I’d highly recommend this article, A Nation of Dunces. It’s a fascinating take on education here in Indonesia, and I can attest to having experienced all of the anecdotes she gives… give it a read if you have ten minutes.)

December is busy no matter where you are!

December 30, 2015 by Mackenzie

So I realize it’s been almost a month since I’ve last written. I’ve meant to blog so many times… but things have been all over the map here – the last month has held some of my lowest points in Indonesia (see Not Gonna Sugarcoat It), as well as some of my favorite memories. It also held a little bit of travel as I went to Jogja for Christmas. In addition to the travel and the emotional highs and lows, I’ve suddenly become extremely busy. I’m teaching, tutoring, being tutored, running English clubs, hosting informal hangouts with my students, and also trying to be an adult and keep my house clean, eat something besides instant noodles (haven’t achieved this yet), and exercise here and there. Oh, and internet is always a struggle so uploading pictures and posting a blog post is not nearly as easy as it sounds.

However, it’s Wednesday afternoon, December 30th and school finished early today for the holiday and I’m now nestled into a comfy booth in the corner of a cafe that I just found. With an avocado juice and free wifi, I’m a happy girl.

Which means, an update. So much has happened in the last month and I have no idea where to start…

I just posted today something that I wrote several weeks ago but never had the chance to post. It was my most difficult time yet in Indonesia and everything seemed to be going wrong. I didn’t have internet to post it then, and quickly afterwards things got better and I forgot about it. But today, I saw that unposted post and realized I should probably post it… it’s important to know this isn’t all sugarplums and fairies. So go read that first: Not Gonna Sugarcoat It and then come back and read this and see how things got better 😀

But back to the good… On December 1st, the Christian students and teachers and I all participated in a huge Christmas Parade through the streets of Palangkaraya. It was a blast. I drove over to it with one of the teachers and a bunch of the 10th grade girls. The 10th graders are by far the shyest with me but they loosened up pretty quickly 😀

With the 10th grade girls

Who knew Palangkaraya even had this many people?!

Trying to hi-five every little kid on the sidewalk 😀

I looked like an idiot sprinting through the streets but everyone loved it

On December 2 and 3rd the local tv station came to our school and filmed all of our extra-curriculars for two days. One after another, student groups performed traditional dances, showed off their pantomime skills, did martial arts, etc, and of course showed off their English skills! They filmed my English club – I led the students through a few games while the cameramen went from table to table filming the students and me. Afterwards, they wanted to interview me! I wasn’t nervous at all, but then everyone started telling me how big of a deal this was and then I got really nervous! ha!! But it went well and was super fun! Apparently this will air as an hour-long segment or something? I’m not sure but I’m excited to see whatever it turns out to be!

Microphones and everything!

The tv anchor on the left, me, my student, and the two English teachers

On the second day of filming, about 100 students did a traditional Dayak dance. Of course, they wanted me to participate so into the middle I went! It was hilarious and the tv cameras LOVED it. At one point they had the camera right in my face and I was so bad at the dance but it was hilarious anyways 😀

My school also apparently does the “penguin dance” on fridays so we had to highlight this for the tv station. I’d never done it before (they do it at 6am and I don’t have to come to school that early so I’ve never seen it.) But again, I was placed smack in the front and literally danced in circles with my hands at my sides like a penguin. It was the funniest five minutes…

Chilling with the teachers watching the kids perform

After the craziness of those few days, things settled down a little. I taught classses, began tutoring some girls for the TOEFL exam, started my Bahasa Indonesia tutoring sessions, and spent a lot of time hanging out with the kids. December meant a lot of snowflake making and tree decorating. They LOVED it! I showed a few girls how to make snowflakes and the next night, more girls came over and asked how to make them… for five nights in a row I had kids coming over to make snowflakes! It’s been so fun. And mom sent me a tree making kit – I snagged a few of the girls after dinner and together we made it! I can’t describe to you how cute and excited they were!

Mom sent a Christmas package – I was so, so happy 😀 I didn’t ask for any of it but it was everything I needed or could have wanted!

I also added some decorations to my house… this is my favorite.

The pancake parties have expanded. We now make pancakes and play UNO all the time. We even bought out Hypermart (~Target) of their pancake mix. So… I bought flour and sugar and we’ll try making some from scratch!

They’ve also taken me to the local swimming pool a few times… its so fun! But so many of the kids can’t swim!! They go anyways and I make sure to keep my eye on all of them to make sure no one is drowning! (Of course there are no lifeguards)

Then, the weekend before Christmas, we had a huge Christmas party at school. The students prepared for WEEKS! Which was irritating for me as a teacher, because they kept skipping class to prepare for the show. However, it was very fun (all six hours!) and we took tons of pictures, sang Christmas songs, and received presents. I got two more batik shirts from the school! I have so many now! Oh, and the teachers sang a song… in the traditional Dayak language. Of course, that meant I participated too. All the students were delighted when they saw me on stage singing in Bahasa Dayak!

The teachers practicing for our debut 😉

Tisia and I

On the 25th, I headed to Jogja for my short Christmas vacation! I have so much to share from that trip so I’ll save it for another post 😀 Which I promise is coming soon!

Not Gonna Sugarcoat It

December 30, 2015 by Mackenzie

I wrote this several weeks ago but never posted it – even though I’m long past most of these feelings, I still think it’s important to post. Not everything is fun and exciting… sometimes, it’s just plain hard and frustrating. Thus… not the most upbeat post, but an important one nonetheless.

From around December 11-13:

I’m sure that anyone who has ever undertaken something like this has just been waiting for this moment to happen. “She’s been so positive and upbeat, even through all the smoke and evacuations… when is she going to crash?”

Well, my friends… that time arrived.

I’ll start with the little things… the number of mosquito bites on my arms. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep because I was scratching my arms so hard and had to keep alternating the part of my arm that I was scratching. No kidding. I finally got up and smeared Cortizone cream all over my arms and finally drifted off to sleep.

Until I woke up to La Bamba blasting through the loudspeaker at 4:45am. Usually, this only happens on Friday but folks, today is Monday. And La Bamba (and a number of other songs) were back. UGH. Needless to say, I often don’t sleep well here.

Okay, so then when I do decide to get up around 6:30am, I go into the kitchen and the swarm of mosquitos around my sink and my dishes and in my hand towel is just unbelievable. And this morning, there was also a massive swarm of ants on the wall. Oh, and a dead cockroach on the floor. Like, come on. Give me a break. Please? I’m already certain that I’ve shaved off five years of my life with the amount of chemicals I’ve ingested from my “doom bug spray”. And now the ants are back? And how the hell did that cockroach die? At least it’s already dead?

I changed into my running clothes (after panicking for a moment because I realized that both pairs of leggings and all my sports bras were still wet on the line outside from handwashing them on Sunday – but found my back up pair of leggings and a dirty sports bra – whew) and headed out the door… and realized that the neighbor’s dog has chewed my flats and ruined them. Like, come on. Really?

These are the little things… the daily, annoyances that for the most part, I don’t even realize anymore. The mosquitos are just a normal cloud that I wave my hands through every morning, La Bamba is my opportunity to giggle uncontorablly at 4:45 in the morning, the cockroaches are… well, becoming much easier to kill. For the most part, I hardly notice all that anymore. Except… when everything else seems to be going wrong too.

The last few weeks have been difficult. It’s been slow, frustrating, and lonely. I’m sad to be missing out on the Christmas season. I’m tired of being hot and sweaty. I’m tired of being tired. I’d kill for a hot shower, or better yet, a bath… I cringe at the sight of rice. We’ve hardly had school in the past few weeks and with the Christmas season upon us here, classes and learning seem like the last things on people’s minds.

But it’s hard because I want to be useful! I missed SO much (essentially the entire semester) because of the smoke and now that I’m finally here, we have no school. Three weeks ago, we had a three-day workshop. Two weeks ago, we canceled three days of school for a Christmas parade and then two days of filming for a tv station special about our school. And yes, the Christmas parade was a blast, and then tv filming was hilarious – but what about school? What about learning?

I’ve been back for almost four weeks and I haven’t even taught some of my classes more than once. And while we finally seemed to go back to school last week, we’re still in the “adjust to Mackenzie” stage and therefore, I’m just rolling with the lessons the teachers have prepared (or not prepared). I desperately want to lesson plan with them and work together to make fun and exciting lessons. But with the few school days and the newness of having me here… we just haven’t gotten there yet. And its frustrating. Because I know I could be more helpful! I know I could make the lessons better! But we don’t. And the lessons are boring, they are dry, and the students aren’t learning.

It’s also difficult watching my fellow ETAs travel all over Indonesia and also know that many of them are also getting to travel abroad in the next few weeks for Christmas and New Year’s. At the beginning of the grant, I had every intention of joining them, but due to the smoke, I’m stuck here with only a few days off – nothing long enough to travel abroad with the other ETAs. It’s a bummer. I’m working on a short, domestic travel plan for a few days over Christmas, but the district hasn’t announced the holiday yet so I’m waiting until they do before I book any flights…

Some days I wonder what the hell I’m doing here. The majority of my students have very poor English skills and honestly, have little desire, or need to learn English. Once they graduate high school, will they ever use English again? I took two years of Swahili in college and the only thing I can remember is “Jambo” and “hakuna matata.” When class time isn’t productive, when school is canceled, when the other teachers in my school only talk about my “beautiful, white skin,” I wonder what the hell my role is here. Why is this American woman dropping into this school for a few months to give out candy, high fives, and teach a few new phrases in a language most of them will never need? Honestly I feel like Santa Claus. A mythical, white creature that most people have never seen before, who comes bearing Oleh Oleh (small gifts like candy, postcards, etc from America) who only appears for a short time and then will disappear into the sky…

Okay, I’m being dramatic. I know my role here is so much more than all that. The sleepovers, pancake parties, English clubs, TOEFL tutoring, movie parties, TED talk discussions, swimming excursions, mati lampu sing-a-longs… are more than fulfilling my role as an English teacher and cultural ambassador. I’ve quickly become my students friend and big sister. They talk to me about their crushes, they cry about mean friends, not wanting to disappoint their parents, and being lonely so far away from home. And although I come from a vastly different culture and lifestyle, I can sympathize with them and share my own experiences dealing with each and every one of their concerns.

So, I’ll end on a positive note. Things are beginning to look up. We sorta, kinda, actually, maybe lesson planned today. Or, I at least know what the topics are in each class and ideally what we will do. And I’m making plans to travel for three days at Christmas.

But the biggest life improvement comes in the form of a vehicle with two wheels. Friends, I bought a motorcycle. This summer, I vehemently told myself I was not getting a motorcycle. Why would I ever need that and why would I risk my life and waste my money for such a frivilous thing. Well… it turned out to not be so frivilous. It’s vital. I have been abolutely stuck at school the entire time I’ve been back. I can only be free if someone takes me somewhere. My school is a good 3 miles from the edge of the city. Which means nothing is within walking distance. I needed this badly. And I finally got it. Things are going to get better.

Keluarga Besar

December 2, 2015 by Mackenzie

On our Christmas Parade banner, that we marched through the city streets in the annual Palangkaraya Christmas Parade, were the words, “Keluarga Besar – SMAN 5 Palangkaraya.” And I couldn’t agree more. This school is so special because we are one big family. And let me just tell you, it feels so good to be home and welcomed back into this big family.

After three months of hotel rooms in five different cities, I couldn’t be happier to be back in my mosquito/ant/cockroach/spider/SCORPION-infested house in Palangkaraya. Truly.

But actually… so happy to be back and to see clear sky!

Yeah, my legs are covered in mosquito bites… and yeah, I chased a big-ass spider through my house the other day, finally cornering it in the bathroom and spraying it to death, and YEAH, I came home to a huge scorpion in a corner of the room and went SPRINTING out of my house and straight to the boys’ dorm where I begged them to come rescue me (which they did – and now it’s the story of the dorm… “miss, how big was the scorpion?!” “Miss, the boys said you were so scared!”) – but, despite all my new roommates, it feels unbelievably good to unpack my clothes, move into my house, and finally meet my students.

Had to save this snapchat… This was at the height of the mosquitos versus Mack saga… Mack is currently winning

Mr Scorpion – just before he met his death at the hands of my students

Some of my wonderful students helped me clean my house after being gone for two months!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And let me just tell you, the students are absolutely the best part about being home. SMAN5 is a boarding school, so all the students live in dorms in the asrama (dorm area) and my house is right in the middle of it all 😀 It’s an incredibly unique experience for me to get to live here with them, to be apart of their lives 24/7 (quite literally – see below) and get to know them on a more personal level, something that would be impossible in the classroom when I have 200-some students.

10th graders Natalia, Meina, and Atika after shyly dropping by to hang out one night

Tisia’s homeroom class is XI-2, which means it’s essentially my homeroom class too. Irsa, Yumela, and Ella.

Ibu Ferra’s son Hardy. We hang out ALL THE TIME <3

My house is nestled next to the houses of two families – Pak Jon and his family and Ibu Ferra and her family. Pak Jon is like the dorm dad and Ibu Ferra is like the dorm mom. Which makes me the dorm big sister?? Really, I feel like some combination of a big sister, super cool RA, camp counselor, and celebrity… Which, I’ll be honest, is exhausting at times, but oh so worth it 😀 The other part I love about these students, and what truly makes it feel like family, is how they all call each other brother and sister. “My brother over there…” or “My sisters…” – at first, I thought everyone was somehow related but have since learned that they all just truly see themselves as one keluarga besar (big family)… and I love it.

And while they are one big, happy family, there is also a very distinct hierarchy between the 10 graders and the 11th and 12th graders. The 10th graders are extremely shy, have extra strict rules, and do the majority of the cleaning and chores. They are always the first ones called when something needs to be fixed or cleaned up. And they have to show deference to the older students by ducking their heads when passing by the older students. The younger students have shorter haircuts and stricter dress codes. They can’t have smartphones and can’t play sports with the older students. They eat in a separate dining room and must eat silently (which is a problem when I eat dinner with them and cause disruptions trying to talk to the girls at my table – ooops). When 11th and 12th graders have free time, the 10th graders are generally sweeping or cleaning up the asrama. The 11th and 12th graders were exposed to the ETA last year, Emily, and so they already feel more comfortable speaking to a native speaker like me. The 10th graders however, are generally terrified of me. We are very slowly overcoming this 🙂 In class, I’m trying extremely hard to learn all my students’ names. I see other teachers calling the students, “boy!” or “Girl!” and honestly, I find that pretty rude. I believe that one way I can give back to these students for welcoming me and taking care of me is at the very least learning their names. While you might think this a simple task, it becomes a little more difficult when you count up nine classes x 25-30 students (225 or so total – and then there are another 100 12th graders no less) and then consider the fact that this is a military school and ALL THE STUDENTS HAVE THE SAME HAIRCUT. I cannot tell you how difficult this is. But I’m trying. Really hard. I made charts of where everyone sits in the classroom and I continually ask the student’s their names. At this point (only a week’s worth of effort), I’ve got probably 50 or so students down… and a long way to go.

After the students finish classes, they generally have at least some portion of the afternoon and evening free to do homework and play soccer or hang out. In small groups, the students have discovered that my door is open to them (literally) and since I’ve been back, they’ve begun visiting me more and more frequently. Following what I see from my neighbors (Pak Jon and Ibu Ferra), I generally keep my door open whenever I’m home. I’ve told the students that if my door is open, they are more than welcome to stop by and say hi, hang out, practice English, work on their homework… and they do!! Some happen to be walking by and see me sitting outside and will wave and maybe stop to talk for a bit, others will shyly ask if I’m busy and whether they can look at the pictures on my walls, some bring me snacks, others bring their homework. It’s absolutely adorable. Some have better English than others… a few of the girls will ask for my phone and type things in to the translator… this one made my heart burst!

<3 <3 <3

Bananagrams on my porch with 12th graders Anggun, Lisa, and Simon

When it rains, it POURS. And turns the field into a lake…

As this is a military style boarding school, the students are much more rigorously scheduled than most 15 year olds. They wake up at 4am and go running – chanting all along the way. This past week, they were up and chanting by 3:30am. WHAT?! As my house is literally next to where they line up and chant, the students have become my alarm clock. I obviously don’t get up at 3:30 with them (although they have asked if I want to go running with them – I declined for now) but I definitely wake up every morning at 3:30 and lay there until they run out of the asrama – although a few times a week, they actually run in circles around the swamp in the middle of the asrama, and my house is right next to the path. Clomp, clomp, clomp… chant, chant, chant… Lol. What is my life?

I usually fall back asleep until they begin chanting again at 5:45am as they line up for breakfast. Then maybe around 6:00am I stumble out of bed as they march off to the classrooms. Classes are from 6:30-3:30, although the school district added two (I think) hours of class a day for a few weeks to make up for the seven lost weeks of class due to the smoke. During those few weeks, the students had class from 6:30am-5pm – with only a short break for lunch. Can you imagine that??!! 11 hours? WHAT?! But thankfully, we’re done with that now.

I teach the entire 10th and 11th grade – nine classes total. My classes are in the morning, ranging from 6:30am-1:00pm. I may run in the morning and then I will head to school a little before my first class, stop by the teacher’s lounge to say good morning and meet Tisia or Bu Juniar and then we’ll head to class. Classes are a blast and definitely the highlight of my day – I’ll share more in a later post. After class, I’ll either get lunch with some of the teachers, go to the small canteen/food stand across from the school or wait until 2pm when the students have lunch. After lunch, the students go back to class and I head home. I usually take a nap or chill in my AC bedroom – cooling down after the horribly hot, sticky morning. When the students finish around 3:30, I like to go sit outside on my porch and read and watch the boys play soccer. This is when a lot of the students walk by and I like to be outside to make my presence more comfortable for them. Plus, I want to hang out with them!

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Miss Mackenzie in her element! (And wearing a traditional sasirangan from Banjarmasin)

One of my 10th grade classes working in groups on an assignment

Miss Mackenzie is quite the distraction… particularly when she walks by the 10th grade PE class (and here I’m wearing a batik dress with a Bandung motif – I had a number of dresses, shirts, and skirts made with the material I’ve bought from different cities!)

Lunch at my favorite restaurant with some of the administration (Ibu Lusni on the right – I can’t remember the Pak on the left, oops)

Nasi pecel <3 <3 rice, spinach, chicken, and tempe smothered in peanut sauce... my favorite dish

Nasi pecel – my favorite Indonesian dish. Rice, sauteed (I think?) spinach and tempe smothered in peanut sauce, and topped with peanuty crackers. YUM

At 5:45pm they line up for dinner and I follow them over. I usually have a number of tables of students offering for me to eat with them. I jump around between the different buildings – some meals with the 10th graders, some with 11th or 12th graders in building 1, other nights with 11th or 12th graders in building 2… Whoever wants me, gets me… and I love it. After dinner, I leave my door open and some nights students will come over and bring their homework or just stay to chat. By 8:30pm, my door is closed and I’m getting ready for bed! I’ll read or chill until about 10 and then I’m sound asleep!

Dinner time in the 10th grade dining hall!

This was lunch in the dorm one day… a fish head. See his eye??

This was a lucky meal because we actually had vegetables with our mostly-bone meat…

A very typical meal in the dorms. Some kind of meat, a piece of eggplant, and a lot of rice

Spontaneous English Club last night... in my house :D I love that my house is big enough to do this!

Spontaneous English Club last night… in my house 😀 I love that my house is big enough to do this!

My sweet, sweet girls Saskia, Irsa, Dian, and Erline. I spend a lot of time with these 4 <3

This has become my routine in the last two weeks that I’ve been at school. It’s a wonderfully slow, comfortable pace. I’m reading more books then I’ve read in years (thanks to everyone who sent me recommendations! I’m working my way through them!! So far I’ve read: The Midwife’s Revolt, Ashley’s War, Station Eleven, Missoula, The Goldfinch, If You Follow Me, and Between the World and Me). I’m napping when I need to nap. I’m going for runs. I’m spending a lot of time with 15 year olds talking about crushes, dreams about going abroad, college scholarships… we make pancakes on Sundays and I went to the stadium to watch the boys play soccer one Saturday. I think we’re even having a sleepover at my house this weekend. Life is pretty perfect.

Pancake parties – 11th graders Dian and Irsa

I am anxious to get a motorcycle so I can finally leave school on my own. Right now, I’m confined to the school campus unless I go on a run or a walk. But there is nothing but tiny warungs (food stalls) within walking distance and I feel very cooped up. Hopefully that will change soon and then I can go to the store on my own, visit Carlie, go to the market, go to the coffee shop (and free wifi! yeah!), expand my meal options, and escape when it’s mati lampu (blackout) – which as I’m writing the very end of this right now, the power just turned off and we have been plunged into darkness. All of the students are at dinner (I skipped because I’m not hungry for more rice) and the yell from 300 students suddenly plunged into darkness was quite funny. But, besides the mati lampu, the scorpions, the never-ending rice, and the lack of transportation… I’m pretty darn content.

Oh! And I finally got my KITAS. So I’m actually legal now. Party on…

Tisia (my counterpart and the 11th grade English teacher) and Bu Juniar (the 10th grade English teacher). I spend most of my time at school with these lovely ladies.

Evacuation Round 2: From the smoggy jungle to the big city (Parts XIX-XX)

October 5, 2015 by Mackenzie

Part XIX:

Saturday.

I’m in Jakarta. I can go outside and take a deep breathe of reasonably clean air. There are skyscrapers surrounding me and a Starbucks a few blocks away. I’m a five minute walk from Standard Chartered Bank, the office I worked in two years ago. I’m going to see my friends Chesna and Odi tonight. I’m so, so happy.

When I last wrote, I was heading back to Palangkaraya after a week’s evacuation in Banjarmasin. I was thrilled to be heading back – mostly because I desperately needed to do laundry, but also because I was looking forward to being reunited with my friends and students. After the four hour drive on Monday, we rolled in around noon and I had barely brought my bags inside when Tisia called me and told me to come to school to join them for lunch. It was wonderful to see them all again – I haven’t been around all the teachers since my first week in Palangkaraya, a month ago. After a quick lunch, bu Tisia, bu Juniar (my co-teachers), and I piled into bu Lusni’s car and headed off to imigrasi. I was so happy to be back with them – we laughed and talked and caught up after almost a week and a half apart.

We got our N95 masks and are ready to go back to Pky!

This should be forest. But now, it’s burnt, smoldering peatland – miles and miles of it. Somewhere between Banjar and Pky. The President ordered the military to dig canals to get water in – that is what the excavator is supposed to be doing…

My adorable neighbors happy I’m back!

At imigrasi Tisia handed over all of my paperwork and spoke with the immigration official in rapid-fire Indonesian. I followed a little bit of it and soon learned that we were missing one document. After talking on the phone a few times to Rizqi and Ceacealia from aminef, we all went back downstairs and sat in the lobby where Tisia explained everything to me: except for the missing document (a letter from another agency in Jakarta), everything was set for her to be able to complete the visa conversion process for me. The official accepted my Letter of Attorney, Tisia would become my legal representative, and I was free to be evacuated again.

Tisia rocking the imigrasi paperwork

That evening, Carlie invited me to join her for dinner at her co-teacher’s house. After spending a solid 8 days together, we were happy to be reunited again so soon and I had a wonderful time with all of her people!

I’ve never seen so many plates for one meal

On Tuesday, my headmaster wanted me to come to their teacher workshop and formally introduce myself to everyone. When I arrived, I was ushered straight to the front of the room and seated next to the Headmaster and the head of the PTA (I think). Yosef, the 12^th grade English teacher and my other counterpart moved a chair up to the front to sit next to me and translate what was going on. I was very appreciative 🙂 The headmaster gave a short introductory speech in Bahasa, and then pointed to me – my turn for a speech! Ha! I gave a very rudimentary introduction of myself in Bahasa to the 50-some teachers in the room. I messed up many times but they loved it and all seem quite excited to help me practice my Indonesian!

Yosef, me, the PTA head, and the Headmaster

Miss Mack giving her speech 😀

After my speech, I moved to a seat next to Tisia and listened (aka filled out imigrasi paperwork and played on my phone), sweated, and breathed in hazardous air for the next 3 hours of the workshop. Then we ate lunch and the workshop was over! I ran home to grab my five batik fabrics that I had collected over the last month and met Tisia back at school and off we went to the tailor! I handed him the pieces, told him what I wanted and hopefully, when we get back to Palangkaraya, I’ll have five new batik outfits! Pretty excited!

Tisia and I braving the air to head to the tailor

At this point, I’d been back in Palangkaraya for about 24 hours. The smoke was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Visibility was better than the day we had left for Banjar, but the air was so thick that you could feel it. It coated your mouth and your nose in seconds and there was no way I could wear my contacts – I could hardly keep my eyes from clouding up with my glasses on. When I was in my AC bedroom, sitting in front of my fan in the house, or sitting under several fans in a classroom – I was okay. But when I left those spaces, either to travel in between buildings, or in the morning when the air in my house was still thick with smoke, I coughed and my eyes smarted, and I constantly had a dull headache. I couldn’t believe how people were living there day in and day out… having to go about their daily routines, open their shops, ride their motorbikes across town… just live in all that smog.

The photo is this grainy from the smog!

At this point, we were waiting for word from aminef on the next steps. They had told us they were meeting with people from RELO (Regional English Language Office), a program of the US Embassy, on Tuesday to discuss whether we could join a program somewhere else in Indo until the smoke cleared up and it was safe for us to be in Palangkaraya. On Tuesday evening, they said they still weren’t quite sure and we’d have to wait until Wednesday to hear. We waited all of Wednesday before hearing from them that evening, that they were still figuring some of the details out so – “hang in there.”

And I was hanging in there. But I was dreadfully bored. From about 2pm on Tuesday until Thursday morning, I was alone in my house, pretty much confined to my AC bedroom and staring at my phone waiting for it to ring with our next plan. It doesn’t sound so bad when I’m typing it but imagine this… Tuesday 2pm-10pm – sit around, read a little, sweep your house, shower, read some more, the power goes out for 2 hours so you sit on your bed in the pitch black and watch a movie on your laptop until it dies and then you are stuck, power comes back on and you read some more, and more, and finally, it’s an acceptable time to go to bed. Wake up Wednesday with no plan for the day at 7:30am. Shower, sweep the ash up from the house, swish some clothes around in a bucket of soapy water, read, read, read… I love to read, but when it’s 10:30am and you’ve already read for two hours and you’ve done your laundry and have literally nothing else to do all day – you can’t even leave your house and go for a walk, reading begins to lose its charm. So somehow, I passed Tuesday and Wednesday and then Wednesday evening, we were told we’d have to wait until Thursday for word. At this point though, Carlie had had a migraine for a day and was done with the smoke and called aminef and asked if it was at least possible to get us back to Banjarmasin. The palangkaraya airport was closed so if we were going anywhere, we’d have to at least get to Banjar.

Ash people. I sweep up this much ASH every day in my house.

People, this is ash. I sweep up this much ASH every day in my house.

The smog got even worse the day we left

A little while later (this is 8 or 9pm – we’re such a burden to aminef. They’ve been working around the clock for us for days), they had contacted a driver and arranged for us to leave in the morning. I packed my things – this time plenty of clothes as I had no idea how long we would be gone and this time I wanted to go prepared – and Thursday morning, we set off for Banjar again.

We went back to the same hotel we’d stayed at just three days previously, and the hotel staff greeted us with laughter and smiles. We went for a walk to get dinner at the river warungs and we were so pleased to be able to walk outside again! It was definitely smoky there still, but nothing like Pky. That evening, Mark and Ceacealia informed us that we would be heading to Jakarta the following day to spend however long this evacuation lasted working at one of the RELO English Access Programs in Jakarta.

I cannot describe to you the pure joy I felt in learning this. Jakarta is a city of 10 million people. It has Western food, Starbucks, beautiful malls, and most importantly, friends. Dyah, Chesna, Odi, Frida – all friends from my time at Standard Chartered. And Mark and the whole aminef team… I was thrilled to get to see familiar faces after the long and lonely last couple of weeks. I know my small town of Palangkaraya will be great once school starts and I have students and teachers around me and can go for walks and visit Carlie and see things and go places… but since coming back from Bandung, the time in palangkaraya, confined to my bedroom, has been lonely as hell.

Friday afternoon we headed to the airport and after a short delay, we were off to the big city! When we stepped off the plane and onto the stairs that led down to the tarmac, I took a big gulp of air and squealed like a little girl upon taking in a breathe of air with no smoke! We were beyond thrilled.

We grabbed our bags, found a taxi, and headed into the city. The airport is about 30-40 minutes outside of the city with no traffic, and we were trying to go into the city at 6pm… not ideal. But I couldn’t have been happier in that 90 minute taxi ride. As we entered the city, I began to recognize landmarks – malls, buildings, hotels… Then we got nearer to the heart of the city and I really began to recognize everything. Tom’s apartment and office had been right in the center of the city and in a hilarious twist of fate, our hotel is quite literally a five minute walk from the Standard Chartered Bank office. I know these buildings, I know this area, I know a few good restaurants, and where the closest Starbucks is. It’s amazing!

Later, settled into our room, I couldn’t stop staring out the window at the bright lights of this big city and the fact that the SCB logo on the side of the building was just visible from my bed – it was so comforting to see that. I’m in a foreign country, evacuated from my site, disappointed that I’ve been here for six weeks and still have yet to spend a day teaching in my school, and yet, in a city of ten million I’m smack down right where I’m comfortable.

The SCB building is the one with the blue and green squiggle on the top, just behind the white building!

Part XX:

Sunday evening.

Can every day be like yesterday and today?

The only words I can think of to describe how I feel is pure joy.

After a full morning exploring our neighborhood, Starbucks, wandering one of the malls, Gado-Gado lunch, and some downtime in the hotel, we met Chesna and Odi for dinner at Plaza Senayan (one of the huge malls). It was so, so, so fun to see them!! I had seen Chesna on the first day I arrived in Indonesia, but it has been almost a year since I’d seen her son Odi. Odi moved to America for college, Northeastern, and graduated this May like me. But he spent his junior fall interning at Amazon in Seattle, so he (and Chesna) came to my house for Thanksgiving dinner last year.

First starbucks in six weeks <3

Hello Standard Chartered Bank!

Gado-Gado = vegetables smothered in peanut sauce <3

Catching up with them was wonderful. After six (crazy) weeks here in Indonesia, we had plenty to share and we are also eager to learn more about Indonesia and Jakarta. We ended up all going to a movie later and I felt so relieved and happy to be back with familiar faces, speaking “normal” English, and in a place where I’m not pointed at constantly for being a bule. My heart was full and happy!

Then, this morning we headed out onto Sudirman (the main road) to participate in Car Free Day. Every Sunday, from 6-11am this main road is closed to traffic and thousands of people take to the street to run, walk and bike. Street venders set up small stands and offer food, drinks, clothes, and souvenirs. There are carnival rides, music, dancing, animals, farmer’s markets… it’s unbelievable. Carlie and I jogged the mile or so down to the roundabout and the center of the city, and met up with Rizqi, one of the main aminef staff who has been helping us out. We chatted and laughed and shared stories of the crazy last few weeks we have all had, as Carlie and I have bounced from Bandung to Palangkaraya, to Banjarmasin, to Palankgaraya, back to Banjarmasin, and now to Jakarta – and the wonderful Rizqi and co. has been on the other side orchestrating all of it. We ended up walking a huge section of Sudirman – by the time we got back to the hotel we’d walked more than five miles. It was fantastic to be outside, breathing clean air, surrounded by thousands of excited people, and chatting with yet another familiar face.

Running. Outside. Breathing non-toxic air. Magical.

Car Free Day!

Pky girls and Rizqi!

Organic farmer’s market

The building on the right is the Shangri La where I lived last time! In the pent house 😀

We showered and decided to head back to the center of the city to the Grand Indonesia, the massive (and I mean MASSIVE) mall to find some lunch and kill the afternoon. When we got inside, it felt like dejavu, Tom and I had come here many times to go to the grocery store (as Whole Foods-ish as you can get here) and come to eat at the restaurants here. I led us up to the restaurant floor (the mall is 8 stories) and stumbled upon a café I remember eating at with a big group from the bank. They had Western food and I eagerly ordered a chicken sandwich and Carlie, spaghetti bolognese. We couldn’t stop grinning.

LOOK AT THIS FRUIT! <3

Afterwards, we wandered through some stores (Gap, H&M, Fossil… – yes, so excited) and then headed over to a coffee shop near our hotel where we were meeting some more of my friends from SCB. Frida was part of a cohort that was just hired for a two year rotational program when I came in 2013. Tom had connected us then, knowing we were similar ages, and I’d gone out to dinner with her and some of the others in her cohort a few times. She’s a blast and we’ve stayed in touch through social media over the last two years. So when we came back to Jkt, I reached out to her immediately. Two years later, she has graduated from the rotational program and is now working permanently in the bank. For five hours, Frida, Rosalia (another friend from that cohort), Carlie, and I chatted over lattes and then dinner as we caught up on the last two years, talked all about our time here so far, laughed about different customs between the US and Indo, and learned more about the nuances of the Bahasa Indonesian language. I can’t describe to you how fun it was to just sit and talk with girlfriends my own age…

Frida, Rosalia, me and Carlie

And now, after two full days in Jakarta we are exhausted but so happy. Tomorrow, we’ll head to the aminef office in the morning and, after texting nearly every day for the last three weeks, it will be great to reconnect in person. We’ll learn more about the English Access Program and hopefully get to go to the program tomorrow afternoon!

After three slow, smokey weeks, this was one fabulous weekend.

Thinking of our Friends (Part XIV)

September 23, 2015 by Mackenzie

Part XIV:

Day 4 of evacuation: We were supposed to be going home today, but instead of the smoke getting better in Palangkaraya, it’s only gotten worse since we left.

I’m feeling more and more transient as we tack on additional days to our stay in Benjarmasin. I’ve been in this country for almost five weeks now and haven’t been at my site for more than 6 consecutive days. I have a growing list of things I want/need to do at home – find a laundromat and actually get to wear clean clothes (I’m pretty certain swishing my clothes around in soapy water isn’t doing the job), take my batik to a tailor to have it made into clothes, start the immigration process to get my visa converted into a limited stay visa (at the moment, I’ll be deported in a month), hopefully buy a motorbike and learn to ride it (!!!!), and of course… start this whole teaching thing. I’m five weeks in and I have yet to actually do what I’m being paid to do…

But here I sit, yet again, in a comfortable hotel room. I’m loving the hot showers, the fact that the bottom of my feet aren’t black, the shopping I’ve been able to do here (I found shoes in my size!), and the fun times we’ve been able to have exploring this city and meeting new friends. It’s also exhausting. This is far from “home” – we’re constantly on edge for news of Palangkaraya from our friends still there, we’ve run through our clean clothes as we only thought we’d be here for a few days (sticky, smelly, sweaty clothes it is)… Joel’s teachers are wonderful but we are constantly being introduced to new people, taken to new places, eating way too much or people forgetting we never had lunch and then it’s 4:30 in the afternoon and I’m dehydrated and feel like I could faint but we’re at a market an hour away in a tiny little packed gem store and I’m not quite sure how to tell them I need something to eat and drink… It’s making me miss Palangkaraya and the comfort I feel there – even though I’ve hardly been there. But Palangkaraya is home. I’m comfortable around my wonderful counterpart Tisia, and my coteachers at the school. They take such good care of me – taking me places, helping me buy whatever I need, taking me to new places to eat, introducing me to new people, but they also give me my space, and my time to rest. They have become my close friends and second family here <3.

It’s so, so hard being here when everyone I know is living in extremely hazardous conditions back there… Yesterday, the air pollution index in Palangkaraya hit 1, 990 more than 5 times the cap of “hazardous” air on the scale (Straits Times). How is it possible that the government is doing so little?! 200,000 people live in this city and it has the worst air pollution index in the world right now! I hate knowing that it’s the color of my passport and the organization sponsoring me that makes my life so different from theirs. I didn’t have a choice whether I stayed in Palangkaraya or not, I don’t have a choice when I go back… I don’t even have to pay for this! I get a free “vacation,” or as one of my fellow ETAs termed it, “evacucation…”

But… there’s not much I can do to change the immediate situation. I can’t will rain to come or send more firefighters into the jungle, so for now, Carlie and I are guiltily enjoying our stay here. We’re happy to meet new people, let them show us around, introduce ourselves to 10th grade classes… we’re thankful for the hospitality and grateful to AMINEF for the opportunity to get out of the hazardous smog areas but we haven’t stopped thinking for a moment of our friends, students, and communities who have no choice but to breathe in the hazardous air and live in a place where visibility is reduced to 10 meters. 10 METERS!

Maybe we’ll get to go back on Friday. At least, that’s the current plan for now. But with the smog only getting worse and no respite in sight, it may be Saturday or even Sunday before we go back. Needless to say, I can’t wait.

Mackenzie

A Look Back