Week 1

September 24, 2016 by Mackenzie

After living in hotels for five out of the last six weeks, it feels so good to unpack my suitcases and settle in to my new home. I’ve been at site now for a full seven days. I’ve already experienced a number of mati lampus (blackouts), been to hypermart (~Walmart) three times, sweated my way through a zillion classes, and found myself being interviewed on tv. What a week.

While I was in Bandung for orientation, I had asked my school to fix up some of the things in my house… namely, the AC. They ended up putting plastic over the open space above the partition so the cold air stays inside my bedrooms but the light still comes in. It’s definitely made a difference and it’s comfortable now. It’s not super cold, and I often wish I was back in my room in Pky because the AC there was incredible. But it works, and I bought a mini fan that helps too. While I was gone they also fixed the outlets, closed the hole in the ceiling, and bought me a refrigerator! I’m very happy to have that and am now loaded up with fruit and snacks. I also bought a blender and LOVED being able to make smoothies in the morning! That is… until it stopped working this morning ?TBD I’ll keep you posted.

Bought a mosquito net in Bandung and my coteacher recruited some of my students to help put it up

Yay!! Sleeping very peacefully now!

School has been great this week and I’m excited to be back in the classroom! I really want to learn my student’s names this year (all 300+ of them!) so the first thing I did with every class this week was to pass out sticky notes and have them write 1) their full name 2) their nickname (everyone goes by a nickname that may or may not be close to their real name) and 3) their hobbies. I then took pictures of all the students holding their sticky note so now I can match names to faces! I didn’t do this last year and regretted it the whole year! I also made little seating charts of where they sit in the classroom (usually they always sit in the same place every day) so I can refer to that as well.

In one of my classes we brainstormed words describing personality from A-Z. We made a huge list on the board and then the students used those words to create acrostic poems of their names… Mine looked like:

(M)ischevious

(A)dventurous

(C)lever

(K)ind

(E)ergetic

(N)eat

(Z)any

(I)ntelligent

(E)nthusiastic

I had the kids make a table tent name card with the front just their nickname and the acrostic poem on the back – it was super cute!

We also began the visa conversion process this week. It’s really difficult to get work visas in Indonesia and AMINEF can’t get them in time for when we arrive in August. So instead they bring us in on Socio-cultural visas and then we convert them once we have all the paperwork. It’s still a 8-step project even then but at least we’ll be legal in a month or two? Anyways, the first of many visits to immigration occurred on Monday and then the immigration officials showed up at my school to “check” on things and to see my housing…

Kate and I ended the week with dinner here:

It was a great way to celebrate the end of a long, first week!

It’s great being back and being back for the long term. Last year, at this point was when we were evacuated for the first time. It’s crazy to look back at that now and think how long that lasted, when initially we thought it was only going to be for a few days! It’s weird to me to think I’ll be here for several months before I travel again. Last year was so much movement and travel I was rarely at site for more than a month at a time. But this year, I’m in it for good! I’m looking forward to next week and lesson planning with my teachers, continuing to develop routines, and exploring with Kate and Shelby!

18 Days in Bandung

September 22, 2016 by Mackenzie

18 days of pure luxury.

Bandung was fabulous, yet again. After a 14 hour, 4 flight journey from Kendari (excessive! I could have flown to China!) we made it to the luxurious Sheraton Bandung hotel.

We spent our days studying Bahasa with the fantastic Wisma Bahasa teachers in the morning and attended sessions on teaching, Indonesian culture, health, community engagement, etc in the afternoons. Evenings were spent exploring the malls, buying items we won’t be able to find at site, and frequenting the numerous Western eateries.

Batik skirts <3

The Advanced Bahasa class with our lovely teacher, Bu Roro!

One Sunday morning the hotel staff organized a hiking expedition into the nearby forest. We had a blast playing games, practicing Bahasa, and enjoying the beautiful scenery.

This orientation was much different for me than last year because I was on the planning/organizing/leading side of things. With the other SETAs (Senior ETAs), I led a number of sessions – Informal Assessments, Classroom Resources, History of Indonesia, Roles & Responsibilities, and a bunch more… I thoroughly enjoyed being on this side of things!

Our coteachers arrived for the last five days we were there. It was wonderful to get to know ibu Ernida better and get to learn together!

Mock-teaching together!

Missing all my friends now that we’re back at site but it was a great two and a half weeks!

Welcome to Kendari!

August 29, 2016 by Mackenzie

“I can’t believe I’m doing this again” has been the thought swirling in my mind for the last several days. It’s Monday afternoon and I’m nearing the end of my fifth day at site. I’m exhausted. I haven’t been able to get through a day yet without at least an hour, but usually a two hour, nap. I can’t imagine the poor new ETAs who are dealing with jetlag on top of exhaustion from site!

The newness of it all is overwhelming. Seeking out new places to eat, seeking out new places to buy pulsa and data (phone credit), meeting 66 new teachers and some 700 students. It’s purely exhausting. My counterpart asked me today why I haven’t asked the ibu (mother, mrs.) in charge of my house for help buying the things I need, and my answer was that in the afternoon, when I finally get home, I just pass out exhausted!

Kendari is HOT. My weather app says it is 88 degrees, but “feels like 92” with 75% humidity. It’s fairly similar to Palangkaraya, almost the exact same distance from the equator. What is not cool, pun intended, is my very minimally working AC. My room is large – and there is a partial wall separating the front and back rooms which the AC has to cover both of. This means the AC makes zero difference. I have a fan and that helps a lot but I don’t have a respite from the heat until late at night, when suddenly my AC seems to kick into gear and cools everything down. Or maybe it’s just the temperature dropping… who knows. I suppose it’s nice that my nights are cool but gah, my days are just hot.

I’m going to pause in my site description and tell you that I currently have some 15-odd children yelling, screaming, and banging outside my house. My house is next to a basketball court, the hoop is attached to my wall actually, and this is where all the neighborhood kids play every, and I mean every afternoon. It’s cute but gosh they are loud. I’m not sure I can handle this every afternoon… They have asked me to teach them English, which I’m excited to do, but it’s hard to imagine that right now when I come home from school and just want to sleep. Although I can’t exactly sleep because they are so loud…

However loud they are, they are pretty adorable <3

I asked them all to write down their names and ages in my notebook…

Picking up all the leaves in front of my house <3

Kendari is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. The city is set around a bay and what is not open to the ocean is surrounded by mountains. I’m so looking forward to exploring the city and surrounding areas!

Sunset at Kendari Beach

I am very, very lucky to be living in the middle of the city. Last year, I was living outside the city, a ten minute motorcycle ride from the nearest anything. This year, I’m in the heart of the city! There is a huge plaza/tower area called MTQ in the center of the city and I live a two minute walk from it! In the evenings there are tons of food stalls that open up around MTQ and in the afternoons, lots of people go walk or jog around the “track” inside the plaza. I cannot believe my good fortune in living literally across the street, especially considering how far away I lived from anything last year. There are plenty of warungs (small food stalls) nearby and even a stellar restaurant/coffee shop/hangout place called Kopi Kita, which is no more than a five minute walk from my house. They’ve got every kind of jus (juice) you could want along with every kind of sugary coffee concoction. Plus great food at very reasonable prices. At 7:30 every night (yes, I’ve been there three times in five days), they have live music. Oh, and EXCELLENT wifi. Andddd, it’s right in between Kate’s (one of my sitemates) house and my house so we can both meet there very easily! My other sitemate, Shelby lives pretty nearby us too so we are very lucky to all be living close to each other!

The tower at MTQ that I believe is a spaceship

The plaza area below the tower where I can run/walk

My house itself is a ruko (rumah toko ~ store house). Basically, the building used to be a store (selling hijabs, I think) and they have turned it into a house for me. Everyone outside of Kendari (my friends in Pky and AMINEF) find it very funny that I’m living in a ruko. When Rizqi (from AMINEF) visited Kendari in July to check the housing and talk with the school, it was still very much a store, and zero part a house. But they built a partition wall and added a bed, a wardrobe, and a vanity and now it’s working out as a house! The front is a huge storefront, complete with floor to ceiling windows and a legit store front door, which I chain up when I leave. The bathroom is nice for Indo and there is a third room in the back that theoretically acts as a kitchen… but has yet to have any means of cooking anything inside. It’s definitely working out and as soon as I get a few more things, a fridge, a rice cooker, a few extension cords, a non-leaking water dispenser, working AC, outlets not falling out of the wall, etc I’ll be happy with this as my home for the next year 🙂

Welcome to my ruko!

Left side of front room

Middle view of front room

Right side

The middle room is the bedroom

From the back corner looking forward

Back room ~ tbd kitchen

Bathroom

The ruko is on the property of, and right in front of, a family’s house. They take care of me – taking me to the store, fixing things for me, etc. They don’t speak English so it’s an excellent opportunity to practice my Bahasa! They have taken me to dinner with them several times already – the mom has 9 siblings and they usually all have dinner together at grandma’s house! Now I’m part of the family too! 😀

Host-sisters 🙂 Pia, Cinta, and Nisa

And finally, my school! This year I’m teaching at a madrasah, an Islamic school. Public schools in Indonesia are called SMA #, vocational schools are SMK #, and madrasahs are MAN #. So this year, my school is called MAN 1 Kendari. It’s quite large, at least compared to SMA 5 last year. There are 66 teachers and my guess is around 600-700 students. Last year my school had maybe 30 teachers and 350 students… The school compound itself is so different from SMA 5. Whereas last year, the school was quite rural and surrounded a huge soccer field, this school is right in the city with a dozen buildings or so, some two story, most facing an inner courtyard. All the teachers and students at this school are Muslim, except me. That means that every female is wearing a headscarf, except me. AMINEF requires schools to not force ETAs to wear a headscarf, so while I’m sure the school would love to see me in one, they won’t be haha 😀 I do however, have to wear clothes that cover me from collarbone, to wrists, to ankles. Unfortunately, most of my batik from last year is not made in that style so I’m struggling a bit on that front – but I’ll get some things made soon and have plenty of things to wear soon enough.

Selfies with my fellow teachers!

My students are adorable and oh so sweet. It looks like I’ll be teaching 13 classes this year, for a total of 25 teaching hours. This is more than last year (9 classes, 18 hours) so I’m fairly confident I’m going to continue being exhausted and have to take naps every day… I’ll teach mostly tenth grade with two eleventh grade classes as well, I think. I have four different coteachers (compared to 2 last year), which means a lot of different lesson planning… Basically, lots of adjusting to do this year! However, MAN 1 seems like a VERY organized school, with classes starting and ending when they are supposed to, teachers going to their classes, etc. I am a big fan of this 😀 See this post for what happened last year…

Many times this week I’ve thought, “I can’t believe I’m doing this again”. This is hard. Even though it’s my second time it’s hard. Living in an area with very few other foreigners means I often feel like a monkey in a cage where everyone wants to take pictures with me. After a year of this, I’m sooooo done with the “Mister, foto?” or the sneaky pictures when they don’t even ask you. Adjusting to a new school is hard… I’m unfamiliar with the customs and routine of things. I don’t know where to get food, I don’t know how long I’m expected to stay at school… It’s the same as any new job but add the burden of another culture, another language, another religion, and this oppressive heat and it’s a whole new battle. The living conditions aren’t bad, but I sometimes still wonder why I’m doing this again when I could be living much more comfortably somewhere else, near to my family and friends, and in a place where I speak the language and can get around…

But I know that once I get to know these faces, it will all be so worth it.

This first week is hard, and I need to remember that SMA 5 was hard that first week too. But I came to love it and I miss it so much. Remembering my students and life there, helps and hurts as I adjust here… I’m grateful for Tisia, my best friend and counterpart last year, who helped me with so, so much those first weeks there and who I became so close to so fast. Things are different here and while I know that I will eventually know my new counterpart and coteachers well, it will take time. I’ll eventually know the names of my students, as I did at SMA 5, and we will eventually get to hang out and explore together. I’ll eventually know my neighbors like I did Ibu Vera and Ibu Riana and their kids, Hardy, Monique, and Rian. I’ll eventually know where I can find a great breakfast, like I did with Mama Ina every day. I’ll eventually adjust to life here, just like I did at SMAN 5.

But for now, it’s enough to say that adjustment is tough, Kendari is hot, and the community here is wonderful <3

Mack is Back

August 14, 2016 by Mackenzie

Mack is back.

After seven weeks in the US of A, I’m back in Indonesia, about to begin my second Fulbright grant. I arrived about a week ago and have been spending my days in Jakarta working in the AMINEF office, helping prepare for the arrival of the new ETAs and the upcoming orientation. I’ll be here in Jakarta for two weeks before the new ETAs arrive on the 23rd and then we all depart to our sites on the 24th. I vividly remember the confusion, the exhaustion, and the strangeness of all this last year – we had barely gotten a full night’s sleep before we were shipped off to our site with no language skills, very little idea of what we were doing, and great excitement to finally see the community we would be living in for the next nine months.

Dim Sum with the AMINEF office

This year… is so much easier. Yes, the flight was long and the jet lag was real but the airport was familiar, I could speak to the taxi driver, and my phone worked from the moment we touched down. I know how to dress, I can deal with the heat, and I know what to order at a restaurant. This is just so much easier. Not to say next week will be easy… Jakarta is familiar and comforting, but when I land in Kendari it will be for the first time. I’ll be meeting a whole slew of new people, moving into my ruko (rumah toko = house store ~ more on this once I get there ?), and stressing about what my most conservative outfit is that I’ll wear on my first day at this Islamic school.

Beautiful sunset as we took off from Tokyo to Jakarta

Car Free Day in Jakarta – every Sunday the main thoroughfare in Jakarta is shut down to cars and motorcycles and thousands of people come out to run, walk, bike, and explore.

I obviously posted nothing over the summer. It was a time of relaxation and family, eating great food, and playing a lot of golf. It would have been nice to see a few more friends, and spend a bit longer with those I did get to see, but with my friends spread all over the country now, it’s a hard thing to do!

All of my Indo memories <3

Date night with momma <3

A highlight of my summer occurred right from the start when I went to DC and St. Louis less than 72 hours after getting home from Indonesia. Last year, you may remember when I traveled to DC in June to attend the Pre-Departure Orientation for new Fulbright grantees. It was an incredible week of meeting my cohort and learning about the year ahead. This year, I got to return to the PDO as an alumni. I spoke on a few panels, answered endless questions from the incoming grantees to Indonesia, and spent a lot of time eating, drinking, and sight-seeing my way through DC with the other SETAs (Senior ETAs ~ Returners) and the AMINEF staff who had come all the way from Jakarta.

Speaking on the panel, Living in Southeast Asia

SETAs and the AMINEF team

Meeting with the Indonesia bureau of Voice of America with Rizqi, Astrid, Ceacealia, Kelly and Grace

The incoming Indonesia ETA cohort!

Sightseeing at Renwick Gallery

Indo-bound ladies!

After the PDO, I spent a few extra nights in DC with my bff Martha, who had just moved to DC to start a big-girl job. From there, I went to St. Louis for a few days where I got to see college friends, professors and mentors, and my former coworkers at Taste. It was a fabulous 10 days!

Finally reunited with Martha <3

Catching up after a year apart with Shannon and Abby, my good friends from WU

Catching up after a year apart with Shannon and Abby, my friends from WU

Taste with Abby <3

So much love from both Taste and it’s sister restaurant, Brasserie

Soaking up the sun and the ice cream with Abby in STL!

A second highlight was getting to attend a talk given by Malala. Mom surprised me with tickets to the event when I first came home and gosh, it was such an incredibly inspiring night. As a teacher in international education, in a country with a poor education system, it was so cool to hear directly from Malala and be inspired by her passion and work. If you haven’t read her book yet, I can’t recommend it highly enough! Read it and if you ever get the chance to see her in person, do it – you’re in for an awesome evening.

Highlight of the year!

It was exactly the summer I needed. Lots of family time, lots of good food, and lots of time enjoying the balmy Seattle weather. I completed another million step challenge with mom – and am returning to Indo feeling fit and strong. And now, I’m back in Indonesia where I feel content and at home. I’ve got 11 more days in Jakarta and then it’s off to really start this year!

Already miss this so much!

Spend so much time with this sweet girl this summer :)

Spent so much time with this sweet girl this summer 🙂

The Million Step Challenge: 1 million steps in three months. We did it!

Packing was still a nightmare this time, but it was altogether much, much easier and less stressful! This is some of my pile of Oleh-oleh (gifts and souvenirs) for my friends and students here!

Ate all the berries I could find in the PNW!

Greenlake adventures with my buddy

Golfing with the fam

Found an Indonesian restaurant with Kata, an incoming ETA from Seattle!

Brunch with the fam

Golfing on the 4th of July

What a great summer! Sampai tahun depan Amerika!

Bali and Tanjung Puting

June 5, 2016 by Mackenzie

I’m wildly late in posting this but I’m a teacher on her summer vacation so it’s now time to catch up. At the end of March I had a week off of school for exams (I had many weeks off – see this post for explanations) so I headed off to Bali, because… why not??

I really wanted to go scuba diving again (I hadn’t had an opportunity to since I got certified in Thailand in January) so I chose a random little island off the coast of Bali that I’d heard had incredible diving. And omg… when I washed up onto Nusa Lembongan as the sun was setting (literally, you have to go by boat) my jaw dropped.

We came over in a speedboat… not this boat haha

I spent three days diving, exploring, and chilling in my hammock under my beachfront bungalow. It was pretty spectacular.

The water is truly crystal clear

My bungalow

The cliffs of Nusa Penida

From Nusa Lembongan, I took the boat back to Bali where I met up with Carlie. She only had a three day weekend, whereas I had the whole week off, so she joined me for the long weekend and we headed up into the hills of Ubud.

Ubud is known as a yoga, hippy, art, culture hub of Bali. It’s beautiful and relaxing, set around lush rice terraces and packed with healthy Western food places. Needless to say, it was paradise.

Tegallalang Rice Terrace

Playing at the Sacred Monkey Forest

Making friends

Spot the real monkey 😛

Grand Palace at Ubud

Kecak Fire Dance

Best lunch EVER

After Bali, I went back to school for a few days before we had another long holiday and I traveled again! This time I stayed on my island and all my friends came to me! Well, kinda… When you think of Borneo/Kalimantan, you probably think of dense jungles and exotic creatures. And if you think of dense jungle and exotic creatures, you probably think of orangutans. Well, if this is what you are thinking, then you are thinking of Tanjung Puting National Park.

A group of ETAs had done this trip last year and highly recommended their guide, Erwin, so I contacted him and set up our excursion! (Highly recommend him!! Email him at erwinvanjava@gmail.com if you’re traveling in the area!) Six other ETAs (besides Carlie and I) flew into Pangkalan Bun while Carlie and I took a 10 hour bus from Palangka Raya to Pangkalan Bun (not fun but we survived). Once we had all arrived (after canceled flights and lots of chaos) we hopped on board our liveaboard boat and set off into the heart of the jungle!

For two nights and three days, we cruised deep into the heart of Borneo. We stopped at three different orangutan feeding camps and got to watch the orangutans swing down from their trees to come feast on the bananas and other fruit laid out for them. The orangutans here are part of a rehabilitation program – orangutans are an endangered species and many are captured by local people to be killed and eaten or harmed. Orangutan Foundation International works out of Camp Leakey, literally in the heart of the national park, where they rehabilitate ex-captive orangutans and work to protect the forest, conduct research, etc, etc. Because they are introducing more orangutans into the forest, the rangers provide extra food for the orangutans so that they don’t fight and kill each other over what food there is. And this is what visitors can see. The rangers make loud orangutan-type noises which calls the orangutans and they come swinging out of the trees, or lumbering down the paths, to the platform. Humans are no bother to them – they’ll come straight down the path into the cluster of humans, while the humans jump out of their way. It’s funny but also terrifying to be that human.

“Get out of the way, Human”

How many teachers can you spot?

Our boat crew prepared delicious meals and snacks all day long, which they served to us on board our boat. At night, they laid out mattresses and hung up mosquito nets and we all slept on the deck of the boat, listening to the sounds of the jungle. After three days, we were sad to be going home and leaving our wonderful river retreat! Carlie and I boarded our 10 hours bus while the others flew back to their sites and we were all home for a few days before flying back to Jakarta for the National WORDS Competition. It was a busy few weeks!

They climb up these tiny trees! I can’t believe the trees can hold their weight!

Siswi, the orangutan, couldn’t hang with our crew 😀

But then, she decided she wanted to hang and climbed onto our boat – while we all went shrieking to the back of the boat, ready to jump off into the crocodile infested water.

Then we turned to find that monkeys had invaded our boat and were stealing our fried bananas… attacked on all sides!

But all in all, it was a great trip!

Photo credit to my friend Saad, who has an awesome camera

The End

May 23, 2016 by Mackenzie

“Oh my god, I’m going home”

This thought crossed my mind as we begin the descent into Bali. And no, I don’t mean that Bali is home. It’s just the fact that it’s here. The day has come. It’s May 23rd. My Fulbright grant is over. I don’t actually head home for another two weeks but the closing of one door and the opening of another is huge. This journey I’ve been on for the last nine months has come to a close. I’m now on a new journey – a journey of traveling and fun adventures with my brother before I go home in 12 days. That’s just wild.

This thought came with a myriad of emotions – I’m so excited to see my family and enjoy the modern conveniences of life in America. I’m about to go on the most incredible two week vacation of my life. But I’m also distraught at the fact that at the end of this trip I’m not going back to my friends and kids in Palangka Raya.

The last week has been one of the most emotional weeks of my life. My leaving seemed to hit me on Wednesday as I said started my class. I said my usual, “good morning. How are you?” and then my voice caught in my throat as I realized that my opportunities to do this were quickly coming to a close. I started to tear up and I couldn’t speak. My students looked lovingly, but sadly at me as we all realized the truth – this was the end. I had to let Spencer take over and introduce himself as I pulled myself together to teach.

Thursday was 10x worse. I teared up again saying goodbye to my morning class. While I waited for my next class in the teacher’s lounge I noticed so much scurrying and whispers. Sure enough, Tisia told me to “go to class” but all the teachers followed me and instead of walking toward my class we walked toward the Aula (auditorium), where I realized they were surprising me with a farewell party. I walked in to the room of 250 kids singing my favorite Indonesian pop song and I burst into tears. I stood at the front as they sang and I cried. I sang with them, walked up the aisle to better see them all, and sobbed my eyes out. My sweet, sweet kids… This was it. This was the end.

My farewell party was beautiful. My kids sang, my headmaster, Tisia and several of my kids gave speeches. I gave an impromptu speech. I was given so many gifts and cards. I salaamed (shook hands/high fived/hugged/hand to forehead) all 300 students. I took a bazillion selfies. I went through my whole pack of tissues. It was so, so special and I couldn’t believe that this whole thing was for me. I truly sobbed through the whole thing.

Officially a Dayak Queen

Teachers of SMAN 5

Afterwards, all of the teachers in the school took me out to lunch. All 25+ of us piled into the back room of a restaurant and took over two huge tables as we shared one last meal all together. It was so special.

Friday morning was incredibly hard. I took Spencer to the airport and then went home to begin packing. I ran to the photocopy store for some last minute printing and got teary saying goodbye to them. Then driving back home I really cried. This was it.

I met Tisia for breakfast at Mama Ina’s – the tiny warung across the street from my school where I have eaten breakfast at least 5 days a week for the last nine months. We were both quiet as we ate, holding back tears. I gave Mama Ina a photo of the two of us in her shack and she stuck it on the wall – and then I actually cried. That was the end.

Mama Ina’s

I picked up my bag and began walking to class. As I walked down the hallway one last time I couldn’t hold back the tears. My sweet, sweet kids were hanging out everywhere and this was the last time I’d walk this hall and talk to them. That broke my heart.

I made it through most of my one and only Friday class. Tisia was conspicuously absent and I kept texting her asking where she was… she told me later she was hiding in the teacher’s lounge because she couldn’t bear to see my cry teaching my last class. So instead, after I finished teaching we both sat outside the teachers lounge and cried. I was done. I’d taught my last class.

Tisia, bu Yuyun, and bu Cristin took me out for lunch and batik shopping. The teachers all pitched in to buy me traditional Dayak batik but they wanted me to choose it – we wandered the store for at least an hour choosing our favorites and picking what I wanted. I finally settled on two beautiful fabrics – I can’t wait to get them tailored when I come back in August. Lunch was hard. I was so happy to be with them but so sad at the reality that this was our last lunch together. Tisia couldn’t even look at me. The few times we made eye contact, we would both become teary eyed.

We finally went back to my house and then it was just me and Tisia. She had told me earlier that morning that she was going to Banjarmasin that night. She couldn’t take me to the airport. It would be too hard. I gave her her gifts – a wooden sign with the quote “good friends are like stars, you can’t always see them but you know they’re always there” and a framed picture of the two of us. She gave me mine but wouldn’t let me open it – it’s in my America-bound suitcase to be opened there.

I started really crying as the moment finally arrived. She was leaving and we had to say goodbye. She was so strong and held it together – I absolutely did not. Even now, three days later, I’m tearing up remembering this moment. She finally left and as she walked from my house, through the asrama, and to school – I sobbed, my shoulders heaving, as she walked away. It took everything in me to not go running after her, to not beg her to stay, to not beg her to let me stay, to not have to say goodbye. Once she had gone around the corner I sat on my bed and absolutely wept.

Once I was a little more composed, I hopped back on my motorcycle and drove to the last few places/people that I wanted to say goodbye to. I gave my mechanic a USA t-shirt – he always wears a Dayak t-shirt and I thought it would be a fun memory of me to have a USA t-shirt. Plus, he’s saved me so many times with my motorcycle. I owe him so much.

I stopped at my other favorite warung. I’ve only been there maybe 10 times but the family is so incredibly sweet and the daughter is the most outgoing little girl I’ve ever met. I love them. I brought them candy, pennies, and a big USA beach ball. They absolutely loved it all and we spent an hour catching up and saying goodbye.

Finally, I stopped at my favorite little cafe but instead of going inside, or saying something to the people who work there – I stopped because I wanted to say thank you and goodbye to the parkir (parking) guy. He was shocked – but I loved it. I thanked him for always having a smile through the rain and the heat. He’s always someone I can count on to make me feel a little less alone. I teared up saying goodbye to him. To the parkir guy!! You know you’ve found a community when you cry over your parkir and photocopy people.

A few of my girls helped me pack that evening. We ate one final dinner together in the dorm. I held it together as best as I could. A lot of girls came over that night to make s’mores and hang out. It was a night of memories that I’ll keep with me for a long time. Saying goodbye to them ripped my heart out. My sweet girls have made all the difference for me. We sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

By 11pm I had sent all the girls home. I needed to finish packing, to write up a report for AMINEF, finish my letter for Tisia, and try and squeeze some sleep in there somewhere. I slept about three hours that night on top of only three the night before – so on top of my emotions I was just an exhausted mess.

Saturday morning dawned bright and early. I finished packing and brought all my stuff to the porch. At 6:15 my kids all lined up to march to school. Knowing this was my last chance to see them, I ran to the front of the gate and then waved goodbye to them all as they marched through. I took a video of it as they marched but it’s incredibly shaky because I’m sobbing through the whole thing.

Finally, with the kids off to school I got in the bus and headed to the airpot. Six of my sweet girls accompanied me to the airport and I sat in a daze, doing my best to hold back my tears, as we drove away from school one last time. The airport was so hard. All these strangers watched me sob through my goodbyes. I was a beautiful mess. After a lot of hugs, photos, and tears I let them go and headed inside. I was sitting at the gate when my phone rings. It’s two of my 12th grade students and they had driven all the way from the village to surprise me at the airport and say goodbye (they graduated two weeks ago). I ran sprinting back through the (tiny) airport to the front where I swept them both into a huge hug. These girls are two of the best English speaking students in the school and I had tutored them twice a week for several months. It meant so much to me to see them again.

Saying goodbye to my girls at the airport

Finally, I made my way back through the airport and onto my plane. I tried to call my mom but could only say two sentences before I broke into tears and had to hang up. I climbed up the stairs and onto the plane and realized with dismay that I was in a middle seat. I squeezed in between two older men and promptly continued to weep, at the sheer panic of the men on either side of me. Gosh, I’d love to be able to read their minds.

By the time I got to Jakarta I was drained. It had happened, it was done, I was on my way to the next journey. I miss them all terribly but I think having a fun couple of weeks traveling before heading home is just what I need to cure my downcast spirit. And hey, night one in this villa ain’t too shabby a way to start.

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Mackenzie

A Look Back