Archives for December 2015

December is busy no matter where you are!

December 30, 2015 by Mackenzie

So I realize it’s been almost a month since I’ve last written. I’ve meant to blog so many times… but things have been all over the map here – the last month has held some of my lowest points in Indonesia (see Not Gonna Sugarcoat It), as well as some of my favorite memories. It also held a little bit of travel as I went to Jogja for Christmas. In addition to the travel and the emotional highs and lows, I’ve suddenly become extremely busy. I’m teaching, tutoring, being tutored, running English clubs, hosting informal hangouts with my students, and also trying to be an adult and keep my house clean, eat something besides instant noodles (haven’t achieved this yet), and exercise here and there. Oh, and internet is always a struggle so uploading pictures and posting a blog post is not nearly as easy as it sounds.

However, it’s Wednesday afternoon, December 30th and school finished early today for the holiday and I’m now nestled into a comfy booth in the corner of a cafe that I just found. With an avocado juice and free wifi, I’m a happy girl.

Which means, an update. So much has happened in the last month and I have no idea where to start…

I just posted today something that I wrote several weeks ago but never had the chance to post. It was my most difficult time yet in Indonesia and everything seemed to be going wrong. I didn’t have internet to post it then, and quickly afterwards things got better and I forgot about it. But today, I saw that unposted post and realized I should probably post it… it’s important to know this isn’t all sugarplums and fairies. So go read that first: Not Gonna Sugarcoat It and then come back and read this and see how things got better 😀

But back to the good… On December 1st, the Christian students and teachers and I all participated in a huge Christmas Parade through the streets of Palangkaraya. It was a blast. I drove over to it with one of the teachers and a bunch of the 10th grade girls. The 10th graders are by far the shyest with me but they loosened up pretty quickly 😀

With the 10th grade girls

Who knew Palangkaraya even had this many people?!

Trying to hi-five every little kid on the sidewalk 😀

I looked like an idiot sprinting through the streets but everyone loved it

On December 2 and 3rd the local tv station came to our school and filmed all of our extra-curriculars for two days. One after another, student groups performed traditional dances, showed off their pantomime skills, did martial arts, etc, and of course showed off their English skills! They filmed my English club – I led the students through a few games while the cameramen went from table to table filming the students and me. Afterwards, they wanted to interview me! I wasn’t nervous at all, but then everyone started telling me how big of a deal this was and then I got really nervous! ha!! But it went well and was super fun! Apparently this will air as an hour-long segment or something? I’m not sure but I’m excited to see whatever it turns out to be!

Microphones and everything!

The tv anchor on the left, me, my student, and the two English teachers

On the second day of filming, about 100 students did a traditional Dayak dance. Of course, they wanted me to participate so into the middle I went! It was hilarious and the tv cameras LOVED it. At one point they had the camera right in my face and I was so bad at the dance but it was hilarious anyways 😀

My school also apparently does the “penguin dance” on fridays so we had to highlight this for the tv station. I’d never done it before (they do it at 6am and I don’t have to come to school that early so I’ve never seen it.) But again, I was placed smack in the front and literally danced in circles with my hands at my sides like a penguin. It was the funniest five minutes…

Chilling with the teachers watching the kids perform

After the craziness of those few days, things settled down a little. I taught classses, began tutoring some girls for the TOEFL exam, started my Bahasa Indonesia tutoring sessions, and spent a lot of time hanging out with the kids. December meant a lot of snowflake making and tree decorating. They LOVED it! I showed a few girls how to make snowflakes and the next night, more girls came over and asked how to make them… for five nights in a row I had kids coming over to make snowflakes! It’s been so fun. And mom sent me a tree making kit – I snagged a few of the girls after dinner and together we made it! I can’t describe to you how cute and excited they were!

Mom sent a Christmas package – I was so, so happy 😀 I didn’t ask for any of it but it was everything I needed or could have wanted!

I also added some decorations to my house… this is my favorite.

The pancake parties have expanded. We now make pancakes and play UNO all the time. We even bought out Hypermart (~Target) of their pancake mix. So… I bought flour and sugar and we’ll try making some from scratch!

They’ve also taken me to the local swimming pool a few times… its so fun! But so many of the kids can’t swim!! They go anyways and I make sure to keep my eye on all of them to make sure no one is drowning! (Of course there are no lifeguards)

Then, the weekend before Christmas, we had a huge Christmas party at school. The students prepared for WEEKS! Which was irritating for me as a teacher, because they kept skipping class to prepare for the show. However, it was very fun (all six hours!) and we took tons of pictures, sang Christmas songs, and received presents. I got two more batik shirts from the school! I have so many now! Oh, and the teachers sang a song… in the traditional Dayak language. Of course, that meant I participated too. All the students were delighted when they saw me on stage singing in Bahasa Dayak!

The teachers practicing for our debut 😉

Tisia and I

On the 25th, I headed to Jogja for my short Christmas vacation! I have so much to share from that trip so I’ll save it for another post 😀 Which I promise is coming soon!

Not Gonna Sugarcoat It

December 30, 2015 by Mackenzie

I wrote this several weeks ago but never posted it – even though I’m long past most of these feelings, I still think it’s important to post. Not everything is fun and exciting… sometimes, it’s just plain hard and frustrating. Thus… not the most upbeat post, but an important one nonetheless.

From around December 11-13:

I’m sure that anyone who has ever undertaken something like this has just been waiting for this moment to happen. “She’s been so positive and upbeat, even through all the smoke and evacuations… when is she going to crash?”

Well, my friends… that time arrived.

I’ll start with the little things… the number of mosquito bites on my arms. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep because I was scratching my arms so hard and had to keep alternating the part of my arm that I was scratching. No kidding. I finally got up and smeared Cortizone cream all over my arms and finally drifted off to sleep.

Until I woke up to La Bamba blasting through the loudspeaker at 4:45am. Usually, this only happens on Friday but folks, today is Monday. And La Bamba (and a number of other songs) were back. UGH. Needless to say, I often don’t sleep well here.

Okay, so then when I do decide to get up around 6:30am, I go into the kitchen and the swarm of mosquitos around my sink and my dishes and in my hand towel is just unbelievable. And this morning, there was also a massive swarm of ants on the wall. Oh, and a dead cockroach on the floor. Like, come on. Give me a break. Please? I’m already certain that I’ve shaved off five years of my life with the amount of chemicals I’ve ingested from my “doom bug spray”. And now the ants are back? And how the hell did that cockroach die? At least it’s already dead?

I changed into my running clothes (after panicking for a moment because I realized that both pairs of leggings and all my sports bras were still wet on the line outside from handwashing them on Sunday – but found my back up pair of leggings and a dirty sports bra – whew) and headed out the door… and realized that the neighbor’s dog has chewed my flats and ruined them. Like, come on. Really?

These are the little things… the daily, annoyances that for the most part, I don’t even realize anymore. The mosquitos are just a normal cloud that I wave my hands through every morning, La Bamba is my opportunity to giggle uncontorablly at 4:45 in the morning, the cockroaches are… well, becoming much easier to kill. For the most part, I hardly notice all that anymore. Except… when everything else seems to be going wrong too.

The last few weeks have been difficult. It’s been slow, frustrating, and lonely. I’m sad to be missing out on the Christmas season. I’m tired of being hot and sweaty. I’m tired of being tired. I’d kill for a hot shower, or better yet, a bath… I cringe at the sight of rice. We’ve hardly had school in the past few weeks and with the Christmas season upon us here, classes and learning seem like the last things on people’s minds.

But it’s hard because I want to be useful! I missed SO much (essentially the entire semester) because of the smoke and now that I’m finally here, we have no school. Three weeks ago, we had a three-day workshop. Two weeks ago, we canceled three days of school for a Christmas parade and then two days of filming for a tv station special about our school. And yes, the Christmas parade was a blast, and then tv filming was hilarious – but what about school? What about learning?

I’ve been back for almost four weeks and I haven’t even taught some of my classes more than once. And while we finally seemed to go back to school last week, we’re still in the “adjust to Mackenzie” stage and therefore, I’m just rolling with the lessons the teachers have prepared (or not prepared). I desperately want to lesson plan with them and work together to make fun and exciting lessons. But with the few school days and the newness of having me here… we just haven’t gotten there yet. And its frustrating. Because I know I could be more helpful! I know I could make the lessons better! But we don’t. And the lessons are boring, they are dry, and the students aren’t learning.

It’s also difficult watching my fellow ETAs travel all over Indonesia and also know that many of them are also getting to travel abroad in the next few weeks for Christmas and New Year’s. At the beginning of the grant, I had every intention of joining them, but due to the smoke, I’m stuck here with only a few days off – nothing long enough to travel abroad with the other ETAs. It’s a bummer. I’m working on a short, domestic travel plan for a few days over Christmas, but the district hasn’t announced the holiday yet so I’m waiting until they do before I book any flights…

Some days I wonder what the hell I’m doing here. The majority of my students have very poor English skills and honestly, have little desire, or need to learn English. Once they graduate high school, will they ever use English again? I took two years of Swahili in college and the only thing I can remember is “Jambo” and “hakuna matata.” When class time isn’t productive, when school is canceled, when the other teachers in my school only talk about my “beautiful, white skin,” I wonder what the hell my role is here. Why is this American woman dropping into this school for a few months to give out candy, high fives, and teach a few new phrases in a language most of them will never need? Honestly I feel like Santa Claus. A mythical, white creature that most people have never seen before, who comes bearing Oleh Oleh (small gifts like candy, postcards, etc from America) who only appears for a short time and then will disappear into the sky…

Okay, I’m being dramatic. I know my role here is so much more than all that. The sleepovers, pancake parties, English clubs, TOEFL tutoring, movie parties, TED talk discussions, swimming excursions, mati lampu sing-a-longs… are more than fulfilling my role as an English teacher and cultural ambassador. I’ve quickly become my students friend and big sister. They talk to me about their crushes, they cry about mean friends, not wanting to disappoint their parents, and being lonely so far away from home. And although I come from a vastly different culture and lifestyle, I can sympathize with them and share my own experiences dealing with each and every one of their concerns.

So, I’ll end on a positive note. Things are beginning to look up. We sorta, kinda, actually, maybe lesson planned today. Or, I at least know what the topics are in each class and ideally what we will do. And I’m making plans to travel for three days at Christmas.

But the biggest life improvement comes in the form of a vehicle with two wheels. Friends, I bought a motorcycle. This summer, I vehemently told myself I was not getting a motorcycle. Why would I ever need that and why would I risk my life and waste my money for such a frivilous thing. Well… it turned out to not be so frivilous. It’s vital. I have been abolutely stuck at school the entire time I’ve been back. I can only be free if someone takes me somewhere. My school is a good 3 miles from the edge of the city. Which means nothing is within walking distance. I needed this badly. And I finally got it. Things are going to get better.

Keluarga Besar

December 2, 2015 by Mackenzie

On our Christmas Parade banner, that we marched through the city streets in the annual Palangkaraya Christmas Parade, were the words, “Keluarga Besar – SMAN 5 Palangkaraya.” And I couldn’t agree more. This school is so special because we are one big family. And let me just tell you, it feels so good to be home and welcomed back into this big family.

After three months of hotel rooms in five different cities, I couldn’t be happier to be back in my mosquito/ant/cockroach/spider/SCORPION-infested house in Palangkaraya. Truly.

But actually… so happy to be back and to see clear sky!

Yeah, my legs are covered in mosquito bites… and yeah, I chased a big-ass spider through my house the other day, finally cornering it in the bathroom and spraying it to death, and YEAH, I came home to a huge scorpion in a corner of the room and went SPRINTING out of my house and straight to the boys’ dorm where I begged them to come rescue me (which they did – and now it’s the story of the dorm… “miss, how big was the scorpion?!” “Miss, the boys said you were so scared!”) – but, despite all my new roommates, it feels unbelievably good to unpack my clothes, move into my house, and finally meet my students.

Had to save this snapchat… This was at the height of the mosquitos versus Mack saga… Mack is currently winning

Mr Scorpion – just before he met his death at the hands of my students

Some of my wonderful students helped me clean my house after being gone for two months!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And let me just tell you, the students are absolutely the best part about being home. SMAN5 is a boarding school, so all the students live in dorms in the asrama (dorm area) and my house is right in the middle of it all 😀 It’s an incredibly unique experience for me to get to live here with them, to be apart of their lives 24/7 (quite literally – see below) and get to know them on a more personal level, something that would be impossible in the classroom when I have 200-some students.

10th graders Natalia, Meina, and Atika after shyly dropping by to hang out one night

Tisia’s homeroom class is XI-2, which means it’s essentially my homeroom class too. Irsa, Yumela, and Ella.

Ibu Ferra’s son Hardy. We hang out ALL THE TIME <3

My house is nestled next to the houses of two families – Pak Jon and his family and Ibu Ferra and her family. Pak Jon is like the dorm dad and Ibu Ferra is like the dorm mom. Which makes me the dorm big sister?? Really, I feel like some combination of a big sister, super cool RA, camp counselor, and celebrity… Which, I’ll be honest, is exhausting at times, but oh so worth it 😀 The other part I love about these students, and what truly makes it feel like family, is how they all call each other brother and sister. “My brother over there…” or “My sisters…” – at first, I thought everyone was somehow related but have since learned that they all just truly see themselves as one keluarga besar (big family)… and I love it.

And while they are one big, happy family, there is also a very distinct hierarchy between the 10 graders and the 11th and 12th graders. The 10th graders are extremely shy, have extra strict rules, and do the majority of the cleaning and chores. They are always the first ones called when something needs to be fixed or cleaned up. And they have to show deference to the older students by ducking their heads when passing by the older students. The younger students have shorter haircuts and stricter dress codes. They can’t have smartphones and can’t play sports with the older students. They eat in a separate dining room and must eat silently (which is a problem when I eat dinner with them and cause disruptions trying to talk to the girls at my table – ooops). When 11th and 12th graders have free time, the 10th graders are generally sweeping or cleaning up the asrama. The 11th and 12th graders were exposed to the ETA last year, Emily, and so they already feel more comfortable speaking to a native speaker like me. The 10th graders however, are generally terrified of me. We are very slowly overcoming this 🙂 In class, I’m trying extremely hard to learn all my students’ names. I see other teachers calling the students, “boy!” or “Girl!” and honestly, I find that pretty rude. I believe that one way I can give back to these students for welcoming me and taking care of me is at the very least learning their names. While you might think this a simple task, it becomes a little more difficult when you count up nine classes x 25-30 students (225 or so total – and then there are another 100 12th graders no less) and then consider the fact that this is a military school and ALL THE STUDENTS HAVE THE SAME HAIRCUT. I cannot tell you how difficult this is. But I’m trying. Really hard. I made charts of where everyone sits in the classroom and I continually ask the student’s their names. At this point (only a week’s worth of effort), I’ve got probably 50 or so students down… and a long way to go.

After the students finish classes, they generally have at least some portion of the afternoon and evening free to do homework and play soccer or hang out. In small groups, the students have discovered that my door is open to them (literally) and since I’ve been back, they’ve begun visiting me more and more frequently. Following what I see from my neighbors (Pak Jon and Ibu Ferra), I generally keep my door open whenever I’m home. I’ve told the students that if my door is open, they are more than welcome to stop by and say hi, hang out, practice English, work on their homework… and they do!! Some happen to be walking by and see me sitting outside and will wave and maybe stop to talk for a bit, others will shyly ask if I’m busy and whether they can look at the pictures on my walls, some bring me snacks, others bring their homework. It’s absolutely adorable. Some have better English than others… a few of the girls will ask for my phone and type things in to the translator… this one made my heart burst!

<3 <3 <3

Bananagrams on my porch with 12th graders Anggun, Lisa, and Simon

When it rains, it POURS. And turns the field into a lake…

As this is a military style boarding school, the students are much more rigorously scheduled than most 15 year olds. They wake up at 4am and go running – chanting all along the way. This past week, they were up and chanting by 3:30am. WHAT?! As my house is literally next to where they line up and chant, the students have become my alarm clock. I obviously don’t get up at 3:30 with them (although they have asked if I want to go running with them – I declined for now) but I definitely wake up every morning at 3:30 and lay there until they run out of the asrama – although a few times a week, they actually run in circles around the swamp in the middle of the asrama, and my house is right next to the path. Clomp, clomp, clomp… chant, chant, chant… Lol. What is my life?

I usually fall back asleep until they begin chanting again at 5:45am as they line up for breakfast. Then maybe around 6:00am I stumble out of bed as they march off to the classrooms. Classes are from 6:30-3:30, although the school district added two (I think) hours of class a day for a few weeks to make up for the seven lost weeks of class due to the smoke. During those few weeks, the students had class from 6:30am-5pm – with only a short break for lunch. Can you imagine that??!! 11 hours? WHAT?! But thankfully, we’re done with that now.

I teach the entire 10th and 11th grade – nine classes total. My classes are in the morning, ranging from 6:30am-1:00pm. I may run in the morning and then I will head to school a little before my first class, stop by the teacher’s lounge to say good morning and meet Tisia or Bu Juniar and then we’ll head to class. Classes are a blast and definitely the highlight of my day – I’ll share more in a later post. After class, I’ll either get lunch with some of the teachers, go to the small canteen/food stand across from the school or wait until 2pm when the students have lunch. After lunch, the students go back to class and I head home. I usually take a nap or chill in my AC bedroom – cooling down after the horribly hot, sticky morning. When the students finish around 3:30, I like to go sit outside on my porch and read and watch the boys play soccer. This is when a lot of the students walk by and I like to be outside to make my presence more comfortable for them. Plus, I want to hang out with them!

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Miss Mackenzie in her element! (And wearing a traditional sasirangan from Banjarmasin)

One of my 10th grade classes working in groups on an assignment

Miss Mackenzie is quite the distraction… particularly when she walks by the 10th grade PE class (and here I’m wearing a batik dress with a Bandung motif – I had a number of dresses, shirts, and skirts made with the material I’ve bought from different cities!)

Lunch at my favorite restaurant with some of the administration (Ibu Lusni on the right – I can’t remember the Pak on the left, oops)

Nasi pecel <3 <3 rice, spinach, chicken, and tempe smothered in peanut sauce... my favorite dish

Nasi pecel – my favorite Indonesian dish. Rice, sauteed (I think?) spinach and tempe smothered in peanut sauce, and topped with peanuty crackers. YUM

At 5:45pm they line up for dinner and I follow them over. I usually have a number of tables of students offering for me to eat with them. I jump around between the different buildings – some meals with the 10th graders, some with 11th or 12th graders in building 1, other nights with 11th or 12th graders in building 2… Whoever wants me, gets me… and I love it. After dinner, I leave my door open and some nights students will come over and bring their homework or just stay to chat. By 8:30pm, my door is closed and I’m getting ready for bed! I’ll read or chill until about 10 and then I’m sound asleep!

Dinner time in the 10th grade dining hall!

This was lunch in the dorm one day… a fish head. See his eye??

This was a lucky meal because we actually had vegetables with our mostly-bone meat…

A very typical meal in the dorms. Some kind of meat, a piece of eggplant, and a lot of rice

Spontaneous English Club last night... in my house :D I love that my house is big enough to do this!

Spontaneous English Club last night… in my house 😀 I love that my house is big enough to do this!

My sweet, sweet girls Saskia, Irsa, Dian, and Erline. I spend a lot of time with these 4 <3

This has become my routine in the last two weeks that I’ve been at school. It’s a wonderfully slow, comfortable pace. I’m reading more books then I’ve read in years (thanks to everyone who sent me recommendations! I’m working my way through them!! So far I’ve read: The Midwife’s Revolt, Ashley’s War, Station Eleven, Missoula, The Goldfinch, If You Follow Me, and Between the World and Me). I’m napping when I need to nap. I’m going for runs. I’m spending a lot of time with 15 year olds talking about crushes, dreams about going abroad, college scholarships… we make pancakes on Sundays and I went to the stadium to watch the boys play soccer one Saturday. I think we’re even having a sleepover at my house this weekend. Life is pretty perfect.

Pancake parties – 11th graders Dian and Irsa

I am anxious to get a motorcycle so I can finally leave school on my own. Right now, I’m confined to the school campus unless I go on a run or a walk. But there is nothing but tiny warungs (food stalls) within walking distance and I feel very cooped up. Hopefully that will change soon and then I can go to the store on my own, visit Carlie, go to the market, go to the coffee shop (and free wifi! yeah!), expand my meal options, and escape when it’s mati lampu (blackout) – which as I’m writing the very end of this right now, the power just turned off and we have been plunged into darkness. All of the students are at dinner (I skipped because I’m not hungry for more rice) and the yell from 300 students suddenly plunged into darkness was quite funny. But, besides the mati lampu, the scorpions, the never-ending rice, and the lack of transportation… I’m pretty darn content.

Oh! And I finally got my KITAS. So I’m actually legal now. Party on…

Tisia (my counterpart and the 11th grade English teacher) and Bu Juniar (the 10th grade English teacher). I spend most of my time at school with these lovely ladies.

Archives for December 2015

Mackenzie

A Look Back